Tuesday, February 14, 2006


So, I go into a Tim Horton's and ask for (1) large - 1 sugar and 2 cream, (2) large double-double's (sounds goofy I know) and what do I get.

1 Large and 2 X-large and they can't tell me what's in any of them. People just don't pay attention or listen to the customer.

Go to Dairy Queen and order a double cheese burger, fries and a drink. What you get is a large box that makes the burger look tiny and a few fries sprinkled on the side. It's not that I think the portion should be increased. It's that some marketing stiff at headquarters thought it would be a great marketing idea to box everything up to make it look as if there was tremendous value inside and have ended up failing miserably. I'm disappointed not in the food itself so much as the short sightedness and waste of trees. Burgers boring, boxes boring, small burgers in boring boxes PATHETIC.

It's similar to what food companies do by providing a massive bag filled with hot air and less product inside. Of course we tolerate this by still buying their product and companies go on disappointing customers thinking they're really being brilliant and that no one will notice their cost saving measures. HERE'S A HINT - produce a product so irresistable that people simply can't go without it and you wouldn't have to be so painfully obvious in your goofy bag solution.

HEY....really expensive movie theatre owners. HERE'S A HINT: Want more traffic to your theatre chain, absorb the really annoying butter charge of .50. FREE BUTTER ON ALL POPCORN and instead of annoying every customer that buys your atmospherically priced popcorn, you'll have increased your general volume per show just on the principle. It will put people in a better mood and happy customers BUY MORE AND MORE OFTEN! Oh and here's another hint, when you hire the kids for the lousy job of cleaning up spilled pop off sticky floors make sure that the one thing they do all the time and really well is SMILE. People already expect your staff will have purple hair, nose rings and piercings, dog collars, acne and say "like", LIKE a thousand times. The least you could do besides ensuring the entire facility is spotless is make sure those hippy freaks smile. They're not mature enough to understand why a smile is so important in the service industry so you'll have to explain it to them. How do I know, my first job ever was in the service industry, minus the purple hair, piercings, dog collar and "like" only minor acne.

My drycleaner stapled the little tag used to distinguish my shirts from other customer orders right into my shirt. They only got to do it once since I've never gone back. They have no clue. People who do something so obviously stupid shouldn't have the benefit of customers fixing their problems.

Bad companies should pay more attention or just simply go out of business.

Business owners can be a funny group. Upon hearing our rates and instead of getting creative, looking for ways they can engage Fusedlogic (once they're convinced we're the right firm) ask for the price and if they can't afford the price they say thanks and hang up. They don't ask if there are alternative methods to payments, such as monthly and so on.

It's not that we're desperate for business, happily the opposite, I'm just dying to see some creativity in people. They've clearly stated that they have a small budget, my response is if there is sufficient reason to work together then we'll find a way to work things out on an equitable basis and if not then we won't. Still even after all of that, it flies right over their heads.......probably a very good thing for Fusedlogic we don't work together afterall.

Come on people....rise above the automatons you're up against in the marketplace!


Consider everything you know about business up to now WRONG! Start fresh. Identify what you would normally do and imagine the opposite. If you're conservative - open it up and let the big dog eat. Tired of terrible finances, start by being absolutely freaking amazing at what you do and get a great financial planner who also isn't a goof ball and can actually see the big picture.

INNOVATE, INNOVATE, INNOVATE. Pay more attention to your customer's experience and don't only over deliver, blow them away with value....and for goodness sake stop whining and "GROW SOME BOLTS!" (Movie - Robots)...

No comments: