Friday, March 10, 2006

taking the gloves off....

there's a breakaway happening right before your eyes. there is rumbling out there, some businesses are getting it - most still are not, may they rest in peace.

what's needed is quirky, funky and rebellious, blowing up the business plan, fire all risk adverse automatons, stop listening to your banker, your accountant and start listening to ph.d's from street fighter university, forget mba's and stoggy 90's management consulting, they're dead, changing may be too hard after all. fresh, coolest, diversions, don't just tweak it, blow it up and rebuild

if you don't start realizing right now that competitors are out there (as you're reading this) thinking so radically, activating the most incredible off this planet ideas; the market will shift out from under you and you're toast. wake-up and smell the burning incorporation documents.

how about design being a central theme, forget the technical gargon garbage; start capturing their hearts. impact emotions, inspire the desire to tackle the toughest challenges possible and let your team go do it. it's not about power but empowerment, park your ego at the door and roll up your sleeves and for goodness sake, when it comes time to close the deal - GROW SOME BOLTS AND ASK FOR THE FREAKING SALE. commercialization is king, research without it is whimpy and universities typically have little clue for all their genius on how to actually maximize a business deal. if you're a professor or scientist on top of the next big thing, the last thing you should do is let the university negotiate. if that's your intention, sign over the rights to your technology to me and i'd be happy to give you 15% which would be an increase of 10% to you.

want to dramatically increase your revenues? THINK - if all I did was follow you around all day ensuring you pushed the envelope whenever possible, most amazing year ever - guaranteed!

send the suits with the frameworks packing, if they don't stand up to you and challenge your assumptions with some sort of original thought outside of their diagrams, spreadsheets and best practices, fire them on the spot. they should look you in the eyes and say you're full of it and here's why and how we fix it. best practices? it should be most amazingly, completely up-to-the-minute coolest idea from any employee practices.

if you let even one customer have a poor experience that's one too many. quit being lazy and fix it. when was it ever wrong to do everything possible to not only ensure that this customer is incredibly happy but that you inspire and compel them to as a result of your actions bring back 10 more just like them. oh and that goes double for your employees, all you penny-wise and pound foolish employers who first of all, under pay your staff and secondly, think it's only about the money; should be spanked.

take some pride in being absolutely amazing at customer service, beg them to tell you how to make yourself better and reward them handsomely when they do.

i'm so tired of large companies hiding behind their size for being so utterly stupid, lazy and inaccessible by customers, it's pathetic and it has to stop. Citibank, Sears, Direct Energy, Atco Gas you guys are some of the worst offenders of the run around. there's so many in fact I'd take up giga-bytes just listing them.

how many members of your board are under the age of 40? start mixing youth in with your dinosaurs or die, think i'm being too harsh? i'm actually holding back.

if your shareholders knew how much money you were losing everyday...they'd drop you like a telemarketer's phone call. you say you're not losing money, that you're in the black. i say you're losing 80% of what you could be doing if you weren't so busy stumbling all over your traditions and conventional thinking.

i give you IBM as the business case. imagine your company does 90 billion in revenues a year and that's despite the fact your divisions fight to market to the same large clients and like the true conventional thinkers they are lose billions in new business in the process. still want to hold on to their stock? correct me if i'm wrong but don't they have a consulting division.....further rest my case. this is the largest bunch of stumps i've ever had the amusing perverse pleasure of coming across. here's a suggestion, figure out how to generate just one more billion a year (start by doing the complete opposite of evey suggestion made by your consulting division) but instead of putting it in the bank account, feed and educate as many children with it around the world as you can. now that's a stock i'd want to own.

so now go figure it out and start destroying all the processes you hold so dear and that are holding you back from seizing greatness.

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